Department Placing

HOW TO PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES IN A PROPER DEPARTMENT

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

• If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.
  
  
• If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.
  
  
• If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting.
  
  
• If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.
  
  
• If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche.
  
  
• If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the Help Desk.
  
  
• If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.
  
  
• If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests, Public Relations would suit them well.
  
  
• If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team.
  
  
• If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.
  
  
• If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.
  
  
• If they are sleeping, they are Management material.