Latin Terrorists?

WHY LATINOS COULDN'T BE 9/11 TERRORISTS

1. 8:45am is too early for us to be up.
   
2. We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights.
   
3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
   
4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
   
5. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
   
6. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
   
7. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
   
8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
   
9. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
   AND MY FAVORITE.....
   
10. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.

P.S. I'm Latina... so it's okay if I joke about my own people. :D

Forbidden

It was a very dark and stormy night!



They were together in the House.



Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.



She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm. She wanted that...more than anything.



Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... she screamed...he raced to the sofa where she was cowering.



He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.



He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.



The storm raged on...as did their growing passion and there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.



They knew it was wrong...



Their families would never understand... So consumed were they in their passion that they heard no opening of doors... just the faint click of a camera.



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Only Women Understand

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Estrogen Issues

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
   
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
   
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
   
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
   
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving? call 1- 800-"
   
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
   
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
   
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
   
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
   
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.